“Hello Arsenal, this is Mission Control….Arsenal, do you read me? Arsenal…? ARSENAL?!”

So within a few days of being embarrassed by Tootingham what better way to bounce back than to draw the first half away from home to Portuguese side Braga. What a performance by the lads, I mean, Jesus, so much heart, so much….Okay I can no longer jest about the performance. Go on ask me anything about the first half, yeah, like Arsene Wenger “I did not see it”, but I have a REASON! I had a sodding headache, so I went to bed. However, like the die-hard fan I am, I got up and watched the second half.

Let’s be honest, we were terribly frustrating, every chance and nothing worked, twas like watching a team of Steven Fletcher’s at Old Trafford it was. Now I will blame the ‘officials’ who weren’t very official in their approach. Common sense tells me 10 yards from goal despite being Mexican, your one thought is, stay up and you shall score, NOT, fall over and get booked for a dive. So why when you have 3 officials to view an incident do they still get it wrong!? Do referee’s not make decisions with a tad bit of common sense? Why would Vela bother going over in that position, if he knows he will be caught. It was a penalty, a straight red and probably 1-0 to the Arsenal.

Anyway, after two defeats every Arsenal fan is at each other’s throats, but guys, calm down, we’re two points off top, it’s November, take some pills and it will be fine.

However, something must be done, and if I’m honest, here are my 3 things to be done to improve Arsenal:

1) Promote Steve Bould or bring in TA or Keown – We need someone with this shouting mentality to wake up our defence, tell them where to stand and torture them like trained soldiers into being as good as their predecessors. We need someone like one of them three to yell “OI! DJOUROU! TAKE IT OUT THE AIR AND GET RID OF IT!”

2) Bring in Thierry Henry to help some of her strikers – Van the Man, Sami, Arshavin and some others are fine going forward, but players like Walcott, Bendtner and Chamakh seem to doing well but lacking at certain times. We need Thierry almost to coach Walcott into running with the ball and crossing or hitting it beautifully in the top-corner, if he’s going to be the next Henry, he has to be as good as the next Henry.

3) Make them wear suits – I don’t want to see them in these rag-tag tracky bottoms. If you see Liverpool they have these nice clean suits which make the team look disciplined. Lets get someone to make these lads a nice suit with the Arsenal crest or Gun crest and make them wear it everywhere, to training, before and after games. Make them look somewhat presentable and punish those who fail to.