I’m fooking hyped!

If you’re reading this, and I hope to Sasc Nasrigas that you are, it means I have successfully purchased two tickets for the upcoming fixture: Arsenal Football Club Vs Wolverhampton Wanderers. As many of you may realise I live in Wolverhampton, have done all my life, probably always will. So when it comes to football, my two clubs are Wolves and Arsenal, Arsenal because my Uncle lent me loads of VHS’ of old times and new ones, and then brought me hundreds of DVD’s afterwards, which convinced me to support Arsenal (bit of a glory-hunter move) and Wolves because my Dad said “Your (other) Uncle’s pissed off to Saudi Arabia with the Navy, fancy coming to the Play-Off Final?” Being 8 at the time, I legally could move teams or hold a dual-supportership of clubs. So throughout the years I’ve supported both, which was very easy because they never played each other, until 2009. Whilst I kicked the chair in anger because Lukasz “STAY IN FUCKING GOAL YOU POLISH FANNY TWAT!” Flappianski let Drogba through, my Dad got hammered watching Wolves rise to the promise land, and unlike 2003/04 where Arsenal were magnificent and Wolves were lovable because they beat Man Utd (I was there!), 2009 was different, Arsenal were frustrating and Wolves were still lovable because they beat Tottenham, twice.

However, like the man I am, I supported both still and forever more, and I am going to dwell on this fixture, by listing the times I have actually seen this fixture live in the flesh (or not)!

2003: Boxing Day: Arsenal 3-0 Wolves
I remember this game well, for months upon months I’d said “I’d love to go to this on Boxing Day” and my Mum said “No!”. Little did I know, my Dad, my Uncle and my Aunt devised a plan to make it the best Christmas present ever! Me and my Uncle sat in the East Upper, below us were my Dad and Aunt, who sat with the Wolves fans. Because it was 8 years ago, I have no memory of the game, however, I’m sure I enjoyed it and that it made me never chuck Christmas Cards on the floor when they seemed moneyless again.

2004: Wolves 1-3 Arsenal
Like 2003, I don’t remember too much about the game, however, I do remember sitting in the Wolves end with my season ticket. I had to apologise to all my Arsenal memorabilia because of some of the abuse I shouted during the game.

2005: The FA Cup Game I never went to: Arsenal 2-0 Wolves
One day I returned home, after recording the 5th Round Draw for the FA Cup, my Mum was smirking, so I ran upstairs watched the draw and who else came out the bag but Arsenal and Wolves, immediately, my Dad got tickets, in the Clock End with the away supporters, all geared up, there was one problem, the flu. on the Thursday before the game I was struck down with illness, anyone who listens to “Its Up For Grabs Now” will get this term, I had what the podcast doctors call the Dovers, except the nasty part, I basically was in a very hallucinogenic state for a few days and unfortunately, I did not go to London to see Arsenal win 2-0. However, me and my Uncle did go down to Cardiff to see us win the FA Cup.

2009: Wolves 1-4 Arsenal
After a 5 year hiatus, Wolves finally got promoted, and in my attempt to beat DJ Tayo Popoola (only joking T) in away game appearances, I got to see Arsenal once more. Luckily, my Dad knows people who own an Executive Box at the Molineux, and I am straight in for the Arsenal game. Arsenal embarrassed Wolves in this game (as the scoreline shows), the one remark I remember was my Dad saying “Bloody Hell, they’re small! Who’s that one there Rob?”, “…that’s the mascot Dad.”, “No, he’s got 23”, “That’s Arshavin”.

2010: Wolves 0-2 Arsenal
In probably the closest game between the two, Arsenal again beat Wolves, I actually think this is one of the best games of the season, I just got in the box to see the first goal, and I would’ve have won £660 if Wolves had got one as I had a tenner on Chamakh 2-1 Arsenal.

2011: Arsenal Vs Wolves
So, this time, I’m going with my Uncle, Clock End Upper, I again think it will be tight, Wolves are playing well against the top teams, well, the result, we’ll see.

According to Glen Johnson, this blog’s average and is an alcoholic: THE FA CUP!

Don’t you just love FA Cup weekends? Well, since 2005, I don’t, simply because the end in some humiliating 2-1 loss to some caveman team who use professional Rugby #10s to kick the ball as far as possible. I’m joking, I do love the FA Cup, it was the first match of Arsenal’s I saw (2002) and it was always an aspiration of mine to see them win it every year, I did see them win it (2005), and it maintains to be probably my favourite live game (despite the fact it ended 0-0 and was I believe the first to go all the way).

No, if someone offered me two tickets to domestic cup finals or 4th and a Champions League quarter-final loss, I’d ask “Who’s playing in the final and which end?” – because Arsenal don’t win trophies. The Cup really is still a fan’s pinnacle of the season, I know it gets low attendances but I still get excited on Cup Final day even if its Tottenham Vs West Brom.

Anyway, so we were drawn against Super Leeds, easy tie, they’re not the same side they were 10 years ago, 4th round here we come. Yeah, fucking right, I knew from the off it would be difficult, however, never this bleeding tedious! Lets be fair, we played badly until Fabregas and Theo Divecott (Just kidding) came on. What is it with Arshavin? He has glimpses of world classness then buggers off and gets shown up by half the Stevenage squad. I think most of the team it was that Nicky B can’t pass (please play the JET!) and that it bobbled over his short legs, but still AA doesn’t look like the Russian magician I fell in love with.

Luckily, for us the referee decided that Theo was fouled and gave us a penalty, despite (I don’t care what Theo said he was fouled for the first one, the second one looked more of a dive) the fact Theo was caught, stayed up, then fell over.

So, a replay it is, and an annoying one too, ah well, that’s football.

As for Wednesday, beware of the Tractor Boys, they may be brilliant without Roy Keane.

Arsenal no longer Boring, however, inconsistent

“ARSENE WENGER, WHAT YOU DOING BLAD!? WE BEAT CHELSEA AND THEN WE LOSE DRAW AT WIGAN BLAD! MAN YOU NEED TO GO, YOU TOO OLD MANDEM”

Fickle, we are so fickle, so we play Chelsea and win 3-1 then Arsene Wenger dared to make changes to a team that generally goes down injured after being over-played and everyone’s all like “Oh my God! How dare he!” seriously, if Wenger had won 2-1 or 3-2 as it should have been (depending on whether either penalty was or wasn’t given) he’d be given a fecking knighthood. We lost at Wigan 3-2 last year, just because they’re what 17th? You all think “should be taking 3 points there”, Wolves were bottom and they have still managed to take points off Man City and Liverpool. They also should have beat Man Utd and at points Arsenal. Come on guys, we are in 3rd, two points off top and play City in two weeks and could effectively knock them out of the title race with a win and a game in hand.

Anyway, lets not get at each-other’s throats, Happy New Year and Happy Birthday Jackie Wilshere.

“Hello Arsenal, this is Mission Control….Arsenal, do you read me? Arsenal…? ARSENAL?!”

So within a few days of being embarrassed by Tootingham what better way to bounce back than to draw the first half away from home to Portuguese side Braga. What a performance by the lads, I mean, Jesus, so much heart, so much….Okay I can no longer jest about the performance. Go on ask me anything about the first half, yeah, like Arsene Wenger “I did not see it”, but I have a REASON! I had a sodding headache, so I went to bed. However, like the die-hard fan I am, I got up and watched the second half.

Let’s be honest, we were terribly frustrating, every chance and nothing worked, twas like watching a team of Steven Fletcher’s at Old Trafford it was. Now I will blame the ‘officials’ who weren’t very official in their approach. Common sense tells me 10 yards from goal despite being Mexican, your one thought is, stay up and you shall score, NOT, fall over and get booked for a dive. So why when you have 3 officials to view an incident do they still get it wrong!? Do referee’s not make decisions with a tad bit of common sense? Why would Vela bother going over in that position, if he knows he will be caught. It was a penalty, a straight red and probably 1-0 to the Arsenal.

Anyway, after two defeats every Arsenal fan is at each other’s throats, but guys, calm down, we’re two points off top, it’s November, take some pills and it will be fine.

However, something must be done, and if I’m honest, here are my 3 things to be done to improve Arsenal:

1) Promote Steve Bould or bring in TA or Keown – We need someone with this shouting mentality to wake up our defence, tell them where to stand and torture them like trained soldiers into being as good as their predecessors. We need someone like one of them three to yell “OI! DJOUROU! TAKE IT OUT THE AIR AND GET RID OF IT!”

2) Bring in Thierry Henry to help some of her strikers – Van the Man, Sami, Arshavin and some others are fine going forward, but players like Walcott, Bendtner and Chamakh seem to doing well but lacking at certain times. We need Thierry almost to coach Walcott into running with the ball and crossing or hitting it beautifully in the top-corner, if he’s going to be the next Henry, he has to be as good as the next Henry.

3) Make them wear suits – I don’t want to see them in these rag-tag tracky bottoms. If you see Liverpool they have these nice clean suits which make the team look disciplined. Lets get someone to make these lads a nice suit with the Arsenal crest or Gun crest and make them wear it everywhere, to training, before and after games. Make them look somewhat presentable and punish those who fail to.

Disgusting

I hoped the blog I actually bothered to do next wouldn’t be a complaining one, but it will have to be. Well, if you don’t know, or have drunk enough pure Vodka to forget, Arsenal actually lost at home 3-2 to Tottenham, despite being 2-0 up.

Now, I’ve been annoyed after many defeats, in 2003 I had a massive paddy when we lost 3-2 to Leeds and lost the Title ,in 2004 I cried when we lost to United in the Semi-Final of the cup, in 2009, I kicked my chair in anger after losing to Chelsea 2-1 in the Cup, in 2004, I swore loudly in front of my family when that CHEATING MERSEY MONEY-GRABBING DIVING SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY! Rooney fell over and lost us our unbeaten run and in 2010 I yelled “BUY A F*CKING KEEPER WENGER!” when we lost 3-2 to Wigan, but never have I actually tried to tear apart the foundations of my home by punching seven shades out of my bedroom wall. It was a good job my singed Arsenal team-picture from 2004/05 wasn’t repaired after I cracked the frame accidentally a few weeks ago, otherwise that would be gone forever.

Now, oddly, I can’t come on here and shout directly at one player or the manager for a terrible second half. Usually, Flapianski or Almunia gets the blame for not getting to a shot, or Wenger for not buying this guy because he’s better than our lot. It just seemed, that the whole team shut-down. It was like at half-time, they were all Windows PCs and after a monumental virus attack from a dodgy porn site they all just Blue Screened and kept giving error messages like “Cesc Fabregas is not responding – End now?”.

Now, first half, we were world-beaters, it was like we had the Gareth Bale in our team! Cesc was the player he was before his hamstring went, Nasri was on fine form, Chamakh was scoring goals. I wont dwell too much on the first half because I can’t, there’s nothing to say. I will say Gallas is a twat for hitting Nasri in the face, and what a finish from Nasri in an amazingly hard 85-90 degreee angle. However, other than that, there’s not much else to say.

Second half, we just fell asleep, and to be honest we sort of deserved to lose 3-2. Now it’s obvious, too many of our lot had played mid-week compared to their lot and because of that they could play for 90 mins and we couldn’t. Still at 2-0 up at home, you should keep that lead.

Just one thing on Fabregas, I love the bloke, but is it time to get him away from the free-kick wall? That’s twice now in tight situations against decent sides he’s stuck his arm up and almost/did cost us the game. He got lucky against Liverpool, wasn’t so lucky today.

Anyway, depressed as ever after a loss, thank God I live in Wolverhampton where the only Spuds fan I know works with my Dad and I don’t have to see them. Onwards and upwards, onto Villa lets hope we see Pires, eh?

My Top Five Favourite Arsenal Players

Hello again, its Friday, its a few hours until live Football and its time for a quick history lesson. Well, I say History lesson, its basically me listing my five favourite players to where the colours of Arsenal. Now, lets say this, I will not lie, I’ve been following Arsenal since 2001/2002, I’m not going to put players from the 70s/80s/90s just because they are legends, simply because YES, I know about the club’s fine history but NO, I wasn’t there to see them play and therefore I have no grounds to comment on them, so here’s my list:

5) Andrey Arshavin – Maybe its too recent to add him to many top 5 lists, but I just think the man is a silent genius. On his day he is the best attacking player in the Premiership, his vision and his touch is unreal. The thing that lets him down is his current form and his laziness. He has all the potential yet he doesn’t tend to use it all. However, since his 4 at Anfield I’ve loved Arshavin and I think if he can be on his game all the time, we’ll win something with him.

4) Freddie Ljungberg – The man himself that could argue he got me supporting Arsenal, if you don’t know the story, it goes I watched the 2002 cup final, he scored, I brought an Arsenal shirt, rest is history. However, during most of his time at Arsenal, Freddie was amazing. With his goals he carried us to that Premiership title in 2002 (along with many others). 46 goals in 216 appearances is not bad for a Midfielder either. However, not only did he score goals he set up his fair share too, he was the perfect package. I could not dismiss the man from my list simply because without him, I’d probably be some Wolves fan who shouts “Grr..kill ‘em Karl Henry!” instead of some Wolves fan who shouts “YES! Play football Matt Jarvis!”.

3) Dennis Bergkamp - :O How dare I put God 3rd you may ask? Well I did! No, I love Bergkamp, he was by far our must talented player in years when he came. His vision, his work-rate, his desire, his GOAL AGAINST NEWCASTLE! Dennis was a perfect footballer. The only reason he doesn’t get higher than 3rd is because, as much as I loved him, I never seemed to appreciate him openly as much as I did others. It was only when watching some of his stuff months ago I was like “Wow, that man, is a God”. I can only hope Arshavin or Wilshere become half the player Dennis the Menace was, because if they do you can shove your Rooney’s, Drogba’s and Tevez’ up your Arse—nal.

2) Cesc Fabregas – When he leaves, I will cry over it. He is the heartbeat of our team and he is another genius. There’s only one man who could beat him in this list. I don’t think Cesc needs much explanation, the man is almost as perfect as Dennis. All we need is for him to be fit every week and denounce his love for Barcelona and we’d be unstoppable.

1) Thierry Henry – How could this man not be first. If there’s one player who I wanted to be like (and I was a striker as a player) it was Henry. The amount of goals and memories he left us, and a player who left with dignity. To see him play as many times as I did, I feel honoured. I feel Henry is a type of striker that comes around once in a decade, and I’m surprised he didn’t win “Player of the Year” every year. I wish we still had him but what can you do? I’m just glad he has so many medals with us and loves us that much.

UPDATE: Notable Mentions

Patrick Vieira
Robert Pires
David Seaman
Jens Lehmann
Robin Van Persie
Jack Wilshere

Man Utd: An Empire About to Crumble?

Hello folks, well Spurs made us laugh for 45 minutes, Eduardo made us cry happily for 45 minutes, Arsenal won 5-1 over 90+ minutes and I need to sleep in 10 minutes. However, today is not about any of those. Unless you click on blogs for the fun of it you probably have read the title, and so then without much more mindless babbling lets get to it.

We have all read now that Wayne Rooney has his mind set on leaving Old Trafford whenever that may be and we have all chuckled (if we’re not United fans) and we’ve all pondered where he’s likely to go. However, that is not strictly all of this blog either. I have a vision now that this could see the end of this major empire built by Fergie, like any empire it has to cease and collapse, and like Liverpool, this empire is about to implode.

Let me set the scene, in 12-18 months, Scholes, Giggs, Gary Neville and Edwin Van Der Sar could all have hung up their boots/gloves and called it a day. Now, that’s alright, 4 players who in any team other than United would probably get 10-15 games between them each year (other than Van Der Sar depending on who the other goalkeeping options are). Now I’m not slagging off Giggs, Scholes and Neville, we all know how good they are, I just assume they wouldn’t be in every game outside United. But I digress, these are 4 players who are the spine of this United team. Then, add in Rooney who’s off too that makes their best player and goalscorer. 5 KEY players, now they could buy people in, but they have no money. We all know that £5m of that £50m transfer on Rooney goes to Fergie and the rest to servicing the debt left by the Glazers. Here’s the major problem, who would United have left? Who right now could fill a void left by Giggs, Scholes, Neville, Van Der Sar and Rooney? You could argue Fletcher and Carrick, but I don’t rate Carrick and Fletcher is one man. Even then, who’s a good full-back, I can only think of Wes Brown, and he’s probably a few years from retirement too. Up front you have Berbatov and Hernandez, Berbartov despite his form is not as good as Rooney. When you draw up your World XI’s Rooney (in form) makes the Staring XI’s every time or at least is on the bench. Berbartov is lucky if he even gets a call to come train with them. As for Hernandez, I don’t think he can carry United to much. In goal, their sub (sorry I don’t want to attempt his name) wants to go and he’s no Van Der Sar, errors aside he’s in the Top 5 keepers in the world.

However, I also see, as I always imagined, that when these 4 greats have retired, I see Fergie calling it time too. Now with no Fergurson, how many of those players do I see perhaps wanting to go over to sunny Real Madrid? A few. Who is Fergurson’s replacement? I don’t think Jose will leave Madrid until he’s won everything there, so it has to be someone who’s below Fergie and Mourinho. I don’t know? Mick McCarthy? But he’s at Wolves.

I’m not saying this is a definite, I just have a feeling that in the near future this could be the end. United are already slipping behind the likes of Chelsea and City, even Arsenal should finish ahead of them this season, this wont be an overnight thing but a soon thing. If they finish outside the Top 3 this year, even Top 4, be afraid.