robbietktalksarsenal - The Arsenal Podcast: 31/1/11

My first ever podcast, talking about the Transfer Deadline Day, Vs Huddersfield, Cup Final and my Time as an Arsenal Fan.

World’s gone mad

Its Transfer Deadline Day, you know what that means, Arsenal fans carry on with their day as normal, buying superstars on FIFA, PES and FM, saying “Why wont you join us, Gary? Why does Coyle think you’re worth £25m?”. I have got good old Sky Sports News on, because despite not caring, I do want to know where Fernando Torres is playing and how much.

However, how mad is the world? £50m for Torres, a Torres who is playing in the worst form since joining Liverpool, and £35m for Carroll who’s a kid who, yes, is good but not worth £35m. It does show how hyper-inflated the English player market is, and why intelligent spenders like Arsene Wenger sign players like Chamakh and Fabregas on frees. Heck, Nasri, this years Player of the Season was not even £20m.

Fernando Torres 2010/11 stats – 26 appearances – 9 goals – Value in January 2011: £50m + Nicholas Anelka.
Torres is playing terribly, yet somehow he’s hyper inflated, didn’t score in the World Cup and is being carried by most Liverpool players.

Cesc Fabregas 2010/11 stats – 25 appearances – 9 goals (as a midfielder) – Value in Summer 2010: £30m
I appearance less, and 7 less in the league, yet somehow Cesc has scored as many as Torres, and from midfield, he’s also made 11 assists. Yet, Cesc is worth potentially half as much as an overrated Torres.

Marouane Chamakh 2010/11 stats – 30 appearances – 10 goals – Value in Summer 2010: Unknown but joined Arsenal on a free
Chamakh in fairness, has played more from the bench this season (other than Van Persie injury period). However, he is a new player who joined on a free and is performing so much better than Torres right now, he also has 6 assists.

Andy Carroll 2010/11 stats – 20 appearances – 11 goals – Value in January 2011: £35m
Carroll is performing well, and has an immaculate goals to games record for a lad his age, however, he’s never played in the Champions League and has played half a season in the top flight. How is he suddenly worth more than Fabregas? It just goes to show the ridiculous hyper-inflation in the English League.

So, those are the stats and how ridiculous this day is, well being an Arsenal fan today is like being Andy Gray at a feminist rally.

I’m fooking hyped!

If you’re reading this, and I hope to Sasc Nasrigas that you are, it means I have successfully purchased two tickets for the upcoming fixture: Arsenal Football Club Vs Wolverhampton Wanderers. As many of you may realise I live in Wolverhampton, have done all my life, probably always will. So when it comes to football, my two clubs are Wolves and Arsenal, Arsenal because my Uncle lent me loads of VHS’ of old times and new ones, and then brought me hundreds of DVD’s afterwards, which convinced me to support Arsenal (bit of a glory-hunter move) and Wolves because my Dad said “Your (other) Uncle’s pissed off to Saudi Arabia with the Navy, fancy coming to the Play-Off Final?” Being 8 at the time, I legally could move teams or hold a dual-supportership of clubs. So throughout the years I’ve supported both, which was very easy because they never played each other, until 2009. Whilst I kicked the chair in anger because Lukasz “STAY IN FUCKING GOAL YOU POLISH FANNY TWAT!” Flappianski let Drogba through, my Dad got hammered watching Wolves rise to the promise land, and unlike 2003/04 where Arsenal were magnificent and Wolves were lovable because they beat Man Utd (I was there!), 2009 was different, Arsenal were frustrating and Wolves were still lovable because they beat Tottenham, twice.

However, like the man I am, I supported both still and forever more, and I am going to dwell on this fixture, by listing the times I have actually seen this fixture live in the flesh (or not)!

2003: Boxing Day: Arsenal 3-0 Wolves
I remember this game well, for months upon months I’d said “I’d love to go to this on Boxing Day” and my Mum said “No!”. Little did I know, my Dad, my Uncle and my Aunt devised a plan to make it the best Christmas present ever! Me and my Uncle sat in the East Upper, below us were my Dad and Aunt, who sat with the Wolves fans. Because it was 8 years ago, I have no memory of the game, however, I’m sure I enjoyed it and that it made me never chuck Christmas Cards on the floor when they seemed moneyless again.

2004: Wolves 1-3 Arsenal
Like 2003, I don’t remember too much about the game, however, I do remember sitting in the Wolves end with my season ticket. I had to apologise to all my Arsenal memorabilia because of some of the abuse I shouted during the game.

2005: The FA Cup Game I never went to: Arsenal 2-0 Wolves
One day I returned home, after recording the 5th Round Draw for the FA Cup, my Mum was smirking, so I ran upstairs watched the draw and who else came out the bag but Arsenal and Wolves, immediately, my Dad got tickets, in the Clock End with the away supporters, all geared up, there was one problem, the flu. on the Thursday before the game I was struck down with illness, anyone who listens to “Its Up For Grabs Now” will get this term, I had what the podcast doctors call the Dovers, except the nasty part, I basically was in a very hallucinogenic state for a few days and unfortunately, I did not go to London to see Arsenal win 2-0. However, me and my Uncle did go down to Cardiff to see us win the FA Cup.

2009: Wolves 1-4 Arsenal
After a 5 year hiatus, Wolves finally got promoted, and in my attempt to beat DJ Tayo Popoola (only joking T) in away game appearances, I got to see Arsenal once more. Luckily, my Dad knows people who own an Executive Box at the Molineux, and I am straight in for the Arsenal game. Arsenal embarrassed Wolves in this game (as the scoreline shows), the one remark I remember was my Dad saying “Bloody Hell, they’re small! Who’s that one there Rob?”, “…that’s the mascot Dad.”, “No, he’s got 23”, “That’s Arshavin”.

2010: Wolves 0-2 Arsenal
In probably the closest game between the two, Arsenal again beat Wolves, I actually think this is one of the best games of the season, I just got in the box to see the first goal, and I would’ve have won £660 if Wolves had got one as I had a tenner on Chamakh 2-1 Arsenal.

2011: Arsenal Vs Wolves
So, this time, I’m going with my Uncle, Clock End Upper, I again think it will be tight, Wolves are playing well against the top teams, well, the result, we’ll see.

According to Glen Johnson, this blog’s average and is an alcoholic: THE FA CUP!

Don’t you just love FA Cup weekends? Well, since 2005, I don’t, simply because the end in some humiliating 2-1 loss to some caveman team who use professional Rugby #10s to kick the ball as far as possible. I’m joking, I do love the FA Cup, it was the first match of Arsenal’s I saw (2002) and it was always an aspiration of mine to see them win it every year, I did see them win it (2005), and it maintains to be probably my favourite live game (despite the fact it ended 0-0 and was I believe the first to go all the way).

No, if someone offered me two tickets to domestic cup finals or 4th and a Champions League quarter-final loss, I’d ask “Who’s playing in the final and which end?” – because Arsenal don’t win trophies. The Cup really is still a fan’s pinnacle of the season, I know it gets low attendances but I still get excited on Cup Final day even if its Tottenham Vs West Brom.

Anyway, so we were drawn against Super Leeds, easy tie, they’re not the same side they were 10 years ago, 4th round here we come. Yeah, fucking right, I knew from the off it would be difficult, however, never this bleeding tedious! Lets be fair, we played badly until Fabregas and Theo Divecott (Just kidding) came on. What is it with Arshavin? He has glimpses of world classness then buggers off and gets shown up by half the Stevenage squad. I think most of the team it was that Nicky B can’t pass (please play the JET!) and that it bobbled over his short legs, but still AA doesn’t look like the Russian magician I fell in love with.

Luckily, for us the referee decided that Theo was fouled and gave us a penalty, despite (I don’t care what Theo said he was fouled for the first one, the second one looked more of a dive) the fact Theo was caught, stayed up, then fell over.

So, a replay it is, and an annoying one too, ah well, that’s football.

As for Wednesday, beware of the Tractor Boys, they may be brilliant without Roy Keane.

Arsenal no longer Boring, however, inconsistent

“ARSENE WENGER, WHAT YOU DOING BLAD!? WE BEAT CHELSEA AND THEN WE LOSE DRAW AT WIGAN BLAD! MAN YOU NEED TO GO, YOU TOO OLD MANDEM”

Fickle, we are so fickle, so we play Chelsea and win 3-1 then Arsene Wenger dared to make changes to a team that generally goes down injured after being over-played and everyone’s all like “Oh my God! How dare he!” seriously, if Wenger had won 2-1 or 3-2 as it should have been (depending on whether either penalty was or wasn’t given) he’d be given a fecking knighthood. We lost at Wigan 3-2 last year, just because they’re what 17th? You all think “should be taking 3 points there”, Wolves were bottom and they have still managed to take points off Man City and Liverpool. They also should have beat Man Utd and at points Arsenal. Come on guys, we are in 3rd, two points off top and play City in two weeks and could effectively knock them out of the title race with a win and a game in hand.

Anyway, lets not get at each-other’s throats, Happy New Year and Happy Birthday Jackie Wilshere.

“Hello Arsenal, this is Mission Control….Arsenal, do you read me? Arsenal…? ARSENAL?!”

So within a few days of being embarrassed by Tootingham what better way to bounce back than to draw the first half away from home to Portuguese side Braga. What a performance by the lads, I mean, Jesus, so much heart, so much….Okay I can no longer jest about the performance. Go on ask me anything about the first half, yeah, like Arsene Wenger “I did not see it”, but I have a REASON! I had a sodding headache, so I went to bed. However, like the die-hard fan I am, I got up and watched the second half.

Let’s be honest, we were terribly frustrating, every chance and nothing worked, twas like watching a team of Steven Fletcher’s at Old Trafford it was. Now I will blame the ‘officials’ who weren’t very official in their approach. Common sense tells me 10 yards from goal despite being Mexican, your one thought is, stay up and you shall score, NOT, fall over and get booked for a dive. So why when you have 3 officials to view an incident do they still get it wrong!? Do referee’s not make decisions with a tad bit of common sense? Why would Vela bother going over in that position, if he knows he will be caught. It was a penalty, a straight red and probably 1-0 to the Arsenal.

Anyway, after two defeats every Arsenal fan is at each other’s throats, but guys, calm down, we’re two points off top, it’s November, take some pills and it will be fine.

However, something must be done, and if I’m honest, here are my 3 things to be done to improve Arsenal:

1) Promote Steve Bould or bring in TA or Keown – We need someone with this shouting mentality to wake up our defence, tell them where to stand and torture them like trained soldiers into being as good as their predecessors. We need someone like one of them three to yell “OI! DJOUROU! TAKE IT OUT THE AIR AND GET RID OF IT!”

2) Bring in Thierry Henry to help some of her strikers – Van the Man, Sami, Arshavin and some others are fine going forward, but players like Walcott, Bendtner and Chamakh seem to doing well but lacking at certain times. We need Thierry almost to coach Walcott into running with the ball and crossing or hitting it beautifully in the top-corner, if he’s going to be the next Henry, he has to be as good as the next Henry.

3) Make them wear suits – I don’t want to see them in these rag-tag tracky bottoms. If you see Liverpool they have these nice clean suits which make the team look disciplined. Lets get someone to make these lads a nice suit with the Arsenal crest or Gun crest and make them wear it everywhere, to training, before and after games. Make them look somewhat presentable and punish those who fail to.

Disgusting

I hoped the blog I actually bothered to do next wouldn’t be a complaining one, but it will have to be. Well, if you don’t know, or have drunk enough pure Vodka to forget, Arsenal actually lost at home 3-2 to Tottenham, despite being 2-0 up.

Now, I’ve been annoyed after many defeats, in 2003 I had a massive paddy when we lost 3-2 to Leeds and lost the Title ,in 2004 I cried when we lost to United in the Semi-Final of the cup, in 2009, I kicked my chair in anger after losing to Chelsea 2-1 in the Cup, in 2004, I swore loudly in front of my family when that CHEATING MERSEY MONEY-GRABBING DIVING SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY! Rooney fell over and lost us our unbeaten run and in 2010 I yelled “BUY A F*CKING KEEPER WENGER!” when we lost 3-2 to Wigan, but never have I actually tried to tear apart the foundations of my home by punching seven shades out of my bedroom wall. It was a good job my singed Arsenal team-picture from 2004/05 wasn’t repaired after I cracked the frame accidentally a few weeks ago, otherwise that would be gone forever.

Now, oddly, I can’t come on here and shout directly at one player or the manager for a terrible second half. Usually, Flapianski or Almunia gets the blame for not getting to a shot, or Wenger for not buying this guy because he’s better than our lot. It just seemed, that the whole team shut-down. It was like at half-time, they were all Windows PCs and after a monumental virus attack from a dodgy porn site they all just Blue Screened and kept giving error messages like “Cesc Fabregas is not responding – End now?”.

Now, first half, we were world-beaters, it was like we had the Gareth Bale in our team! Cesc was the player he was before his hamstring went, Nasri was on fine form, Chamakh was scoring goals. I wont dwell too much on the first half because I can’t, there’s nothing to say. I will say Gallas is a twat for hitting Nasri in the face, and what a finish from Nasri in an amazingly hard 85-90 degreee angle. However, other than that, there’s not much else to say.

Second half, we just fell asleep, and to be honest we sort of deserved to lose 3-2. Now it’s obvious, too many of our lot had played mid-week compared to their lot and because of that they could play for 90 mins and we couldn’t. Still at 2-0 up at home, you should keep that lead.

Just one thing on Fabregas, I love the bloke, but is it time to get him away from the free-kick wall? That’s twice now in tight situations against decent sides he’s stuck his arm up and almost/did cost us the game. He got lucky against Liverpool, wasn’t so lucky today.

Anyway, depressed as ever after a loss, thank God I live in Wolverhampton where the only Spuds fan I know works with my Dad and I don’t have to see them. Onwards and upwards, onto Villa lets hope we see Pires, eh?