Whenever we reach the eve of a major tournament, I get sucked into the BBC's usual exploitation of its limitless World Cup and European Championships footage when they produce programme's like 'Most Shocking World Cup/Euro Moments' and “England's Worst Ever Football Team' and usually I enjoy them, even if they are mostly inaccurate as if to try and make a story sound more farfetched (for example calling a Romania team that got as far as England in the 1998 World Cup “rubbish” as the team all had bleach blonde hair or trying to make out that there were only about five people left on a football pitch when Portugal scored the only goal of the Battle of Nuremberg in 2006), still forgetting all those inaccuracies I seem to enjoy these BBC Three produced programmes, until last night that was.
Last night BBC Three showed 'How to be an England Manager', at first I presumed it would be what it almost was, a group of comedians, TV Personalities, Football Personalities and Journalists looking at the failings of past England managers and laughing. It almost was that, except it seemed more like an hour long patronising-fest towards a manager who's been managing almost as long as most of these people have breathed the air of this planet.
Hosted by former Soccer AM co-host and Chelsea fan Tim Lovejoy, it showed a Roy Hodgson impersonator get a DVD in the post (which was satirically once meant for Harry Redknapp) which was supposed to be ten steps to becoming a great England manager. That's brilliant, great idea, because Roy Hodgson has never managed anywhere before or has more experience than most of the people in the programme.
In fairness, most of the programme was just what it should have been, looking at former failings and having a bit of a giggle at how crap England are. However, every time we cut back to Lovejoy, it seemed he would say the most useless piece of advice possible in the most patronising voice ever “Oh Roy the most important thing is to win.” - is it really? You don't say? I thought, much like I'm sure Roy thought the most important thing was to make sure your hair looks nice for the interview after the game. Maybe it would have been too horrific for the spirit of Sir Alf Ramsey or Sir Bobby Robson to host the DVD and give Roy advice, but it seemed so misplaced from Lovejoy who's never managed to give someone who's one of the more underrated managers England have advice and pointless advice like “win”. It felt like the BBC thought Roy was a child and had just installed the game Football Manager to his PC and didn't know what to do.
Perhaps this is because Harry Redknapp isn't England manager that people feel it's acceptable to try and patronise the England manager because he's only managed some little Scandonavian teams, West Brom and Fulham...oh and that little Inter Milan team too. However, I felt the whole show was complete lunacy from the BBC and although the real Roy Hodgson wasn't watching I don't think those who were are stupid enough to be patronised either.