“Hello Arsenal, this is Mission Control….Arsenal, do you read me? Arsenal…? ARSENAL?!”

So within a few days of being embarrassed by Tootingham what better way to bounce back than to draw the first half away from home to Portuguese side Braga. What a performance by the lads, I mean, Jesus, so much heart, so much….Okay I can no longer jest about the performance. Go on ask me anything about the first half, yeah, like Arsene Wenger “I did not see it”, but I have a REASON! I had a sodding headache, so I went to bed. However, like the die-hard fan I am, I got up and watched the second half.

Let’s be honest, we were terribly frustrating, every chance and nothing worked, twas like watching a team of Steven Fletcher’s at Old Trafford it was. Now I will blame the ‘officials’ who weren’t very official in their approach. Common sense tells me 10 yards from goal despite being Mexican, your one thought is, stay up and you shall score, NOT, fall over and get booked for a dive. So why when you have 3 officials to view an incident do they still get it wrong!? Do referee’s not make decisions with a tad bit of common sense? Why would Vela bother going over in that position, if he knows he will be caught. It was a penalty, a straight red and probably 1-0 to the Arsenal.

Anyway, after two defeats every Arsenal fan is at each other’s throats, but guys, calm down, we’re two points off top, it’s November, take some pills and it will be fine.

However, something must be done, and if I’m honest, here are my 3 things to be done to improve Arsenal:

1) Promote Steve Bould or bring in TA or Keown – We need someone with this shouting mentality to wake up our defence, tell them where to stand and torture them like trained soldiers into being as good as their predecessors. We need someone like one of them three to yell “OI! DJOUROU! TAKE IT OUT THE AIR AND GET RID OF IT!”

2) Bring in Thierry Henry to help some of her strikers – Van the Man, Sami, Arshavin and some others are fine going forward, but players like Walcott, Bendtner and Chamakh seem to doing well but lacking at certain times. We need Thierry almost to coach Walcott into running with the ball and crossing or hitting it beautifully in the top-corner, if he’s going to be the next Henry, he has to be as good as the next Henry.

3) Make them wear suits – I don’t want to see them in these rag-tag tracky bottoms. If you see Liverpool they have these nice clean suits which make the team look disciplined. Lets get someone to make these lads a nice suit with the Arsenal crest or Gun crest and make them wear it everywhere, to training, before and after games. Make them look somewhat presentable and punish those who fail to.

Disgusting

I hoped the blog I actually bothered to do next wouldn’t be a complaining one, but it will have to be. Well, if you don’t know, or have drunk enough pure Vodka to forget, Arsenal actually lost at home 3-2 to Tottenham, despite being 2-0 up.

Now, I’ve been annoyed after many defeats, in 2003 I had a massive paddy when we lost 3-2 to Leeds and lost the Title ,in 2004 I cried when we lost to United in the Semi-Final of the cup, in 2009, I kicked my chair in anger after losing to Chelsea 2-1 in the Cup, in 2004, I swore loudly in front of my family when that CHEATING MERSEY MONEY-GRABBING DIVING SEE YOU NEXT TUESDAY! Rooney fell over and lost us our unbeaten run and in 2010 I yelled “BUY A F*CKING KEEPER WENGER!” when we lost 3-2 to Wigan, but never have I actually tried to tear apart the foundations of my home by punching seven shades out of my bedroom wall. It was a good job my singed Arsenal team-picture from 2004/05 wasn’t repaired after I cracked the frame accidentally a few weeks ago, otherwise that would be gone forever.

Now, oddly, I can’t come on here and shout directly at one player or the manager for a terrible second half. Usually, Flapianski or Almunia gets the blame for not getting to a shot, or Wenger for not buying this guy because he’s better than our lot. It just seemed, that the whole team shut-down. It was like at half-time, they were all Windows PCs and after a monumental virus attack from a dodgy porn site they all just Blue Screened and kept giving error messages like “Cesc Fabregas is not responding – End now?”.

Now, first half, we were world-beaters, it was like we had the Gareth Bale in our team! Cesc was the player he was before his hamstring went, Nasri was on fine form, Chamakh was scoring goals. I wont dwell too much on the first half because I can’t, there’s nothing to say. I will say Gallas is a twat for hitting Nasri in the face, and what a finish from Nasri in an amazingly hard 85-90 degreee angle. However, other than that, there’s not much else to say.

Second half, we just fell asleep, and to be honest we sort of deserved to lose 3-2. Now it’s obvious, too many of our lot had played mid-week compared to their lot and because of that they could play for 90 mins and we couldn’t. Still at 2-0 up at home, you should keep that lead.

Just one thing on Fabregas, I love the bloke, but is it time to get him away from the free-kick wall? That’s twice now in tight situations against decent sides he’s stuck his arm up and almost/did cost us the game. He got lucky against Liverpool, wasn’t so lucky today.

Anyway, depressed as ever after a loss, thank God I live in Wolverhampton where the only Spuds fan I know works with my Dad and I don’t have to see them. Onwards and upwards, onto Villa lets hope we see Pires, eh?